/*Minna and Andy are the co-founders of Foco Academy, where you can subscribe to online courses that will boost your performance, productivity, health and longevity for both your mind and body.*/
According to an article, 322 million people across the globe suffer from depression. Probably more assuming there are people who are not properly diagnosed.
The mental health of people are declining. And get this. The number 1 cause of disability - is not physical sickness. The number 1 cause of disability is depression. Just so happens that according to statistics, women are twice as likely as men to become depressed. And less than 50% of people who suffer from a mental disorder are getting any type of treatment.
According to the article, over 34 million US residents age 65 and above are depressed. And I expect that this year, this number is going to shoot up sky high.
So what if you are a little sad all the time? Well, according to a survey, 80% of the interviewed adults feel that depression has caused them difficulty dealing with their work, home, and social activities.
Why are people depressed?
Why are they not happy?
Is it because you don't have enough money?
Because your job sucks?
Or that your husband is a a-hole?
Your kids won't listen to you?
And on, and on, and on.
There are a million reasons people tell themselves that that's why they are not happy. And I can kind of group them into 3 main reasons why people, maybe even you, are unhappy:
Have you ever said to yourself or to someone, someday, when I retire?
Or someday I will blah blah blah? Someday I will quit my job and write my book? Someday I'll win the lottery and be happy? Something like that.
Brian Tracy call this the 'Someday Aisle' - basically, you are saying you cannot be happy until you have something else. And this becomes a chain reaction and you gather this whole basket of reasons of why you can't be happy.
If that is you? Let me tell you this. That someday will never come unless you change. Your tomorrow will look exactly the same as today and yesterday if you do the exact same thing everyday. That's what Einstein said right. Madness is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. Einstein's a pretty smart man!
If you want that 'someday' vision to come true, you have to change. For your life to change, you have to change. If you want to be happy, do something that will make you happy.
2 years ago my New Year's Resolution was to never say that I'm busy again. Or at least, never use busy as an excuse. Sometimes I still slip up, but I am consciously retracting myself from the mindset that I am too busy to be happy.
Here's what I mean. People like to say that they are busy. I don't know how that got started, maybe it is to prevent their boss to give them more work. And quite honestly I often wonder why somebody is so busy. Busy, to me, means that you are bad at using your time. Notice that I didn't say manage your time. I don't believe in time management. Everybody has 24 hours a day. It is the great equalizer of all things. You cannot manage time. You cannot tell time to stop or to move faster. It just is. But what you can control is how you use your time. If you are procrastinator you know exactly what I mean. You procrastinate all the way until that very last moment that you had to get that thing done. And you essentially wasted all that time while you could've get it done much sooner.
So much for that. Let me loop us back to happiness. What I am trying to say is that you have to learn to say 'No'. People will ask you to do things for them so that they don't have to spend time doing it. If you want to 'make them happy', you say yes, and, voila, your time is gone.
And it's not just about wasting time. When you try too hard to please other people, even if they are your spouse or your kids, you are forgetting that you are the most important person in your life. And if you don't put yourself first, your kids will see that, and they will also learn not to put themselves first. Is that how you want to raise your kids?
Look. I'm not asking you to turn everything down. But every time you say 'yes' to something, you are saying 'no' to something else. So just be really vigilant about who and what you say yes to. My advice, only say yes to doing things that will make you happy.
We tend to have a lot of 'benchmarks' that our parents and our culture put into our brains. You should go to college at 18. You should get married before you turn 30. You should have 2.4 kids and have a 4 bedroom house by 35.
Something like that. Who put these rules into your brain? When you are so full of what you 'should' have and you don't, you become unhappy.
Parents! I'm especially talking about you. My observation is that parents especially love to compare their kids to other people's kids. My kid goes to this private school. My kids takes karate lessons. My kid can swim like a fish. And so on and so forth. And when your kids does not compare to your neighbor's kids, guess what? They feel your disappointment, and that feeling will hurt them forever.
How do you feel when you are being compared to someone else? If you have siblings you probably know what I'm talking about. Your sister went to an Ivy League school, how come your grades aren't as good? Andy, one day, said to me, 'why don't you wear those long boots? She look good in them!'
Well, I don't look good in them and I am not Julia Roberts. Stop comparing yourself to others and stop putting these fictitious benchmarks into your life. When you learn to just be you and accept who you are and be totally happy with how you are, that's how you become happy.
I think so. When you are happy, the people around you will also feel the energy and become happier themselves. It's a ripple effect that will benefit not just you, but everyone around you, and everyone around them.
Learn to develop an attitude for gratitude. On a good day, it is important to be grateful, and also to celebrate and have fun. On a bad day, even the worst of the days, you may need to dig a little deeper but the gratitude is there. And on those really dark days, it is even more important that you are grateful for what you have, who you are, and where you are.
I know that life got a little hard in 2020. 2021 is just around the corner and if you want to know how to become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled in 2021, I have a webinar coming up that will teach you the 3 must-have skills you need to go into 2021.
The world has changed forever, and you need to adapt so that you can flourish and be happy. My goal is to help as many people as I can so that they can be more successful, and make the world a better, more peaceful place.
Until next time, love what you live, and live what you love.
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